Warning: This post is a bit graphic in nature. It is definitely contraversial. However, to God be the glory!
Words bring joy. ("The test was positive!") Words bring pain. ("I'm sorry, but I can't find the heart beat.") Words are irreversible, even if one's heart or mind is changed.
Words, I believe, are directly linked to our thoughts and feelings. While we do have much control over our words there are still times when they get the better of us.
I am a fortunate woman. Growing up my parents taught us to be careful with our words; they can't be taken back. I am not always careful with my words, but often I try to be. I don't want to hurt anyone. Over the last eight months I've tried to be more encouraging to others than ever before. I've learned how words can change the (my) world.
When we lost Ellie there were so many people who said, "I know how you feel. I lost a baby, too." I don't mean to be rude, but no, they didn't know how I felt. I didn't even know how I felt. I don't know how one person can tell another that. Jon and I lost the same child, but I guarantee you we didn't feel the same things.
Over the past week I've had opportunities to let words beat me up. And honestly, they did. If you've read my earlier posts you know how important life is to me. I believe that life begins when an egg and sperm come together (conception). My Bible tells me that God knew me before He knit me together in my mother's womb. That means He also knew our Ellie and Poppy. If God recognizes the unborn as lives I have no reason not to.
That said, the state of Virginia recently passed a law requiring women who want abortions to have ultrasounds done prior to the procedure. (I believe this is a wonderful step in the right direction.) Babies are too small to see inside the womb before 12 weeks. Because of this, transvaginal ultrasounds are used. Most abortions are performed before 12 weeks. That means these government mandated ultrasounds are transvaginal. People who are upset about this law are calling this "government forced rape." I had a friend on Facebook who posted this. I had to (mostly respectfully) disagree with him, as I have experienced them. Don't get me wrong; I don't think I'll have them just for fun on days the library is closed, but it's far from rape. Another poster replied that they are more like an unwanted gynocological exam. I have to agree with her. After some debate, someone called our children (and all unborn children) "clumps of cells." At that point Jon advised me "not to argue with idiots." He said I'd just get more upset. And he was right.
Two nights later Jon found me in bed squalling for all I am worth and them some. He had no idea what was wrong, but thought he'd done something. I managed to tell him that those words were still hurting. I know it had to hurt him, too. I just could not (and still can't) believe how cruel people are with their words. Because he let such horrid (in my opinion) things go on on his FB wall, I had to unfriend this person. I've known him for years, but that no longer matters. My counselor told me to delete people who hurt me. It's Facebook. This was the first time I've followed her advice. (There are other instances of when it should have been done, but this was the first time I actually had the nerve to do it.)
I know we live in a democracy, and abortion has been legal my entire lifetime, but it is still a very hot topic. I wonder how many people who support it have experienced miscarriages. I wonder how many who have had abortions regret having them. I know that had Ellie been born our lives would be drastically different now. I know that had we not lost Poppy I'd be about halfway through the pregnancy now and Jon most likely wouldn't have been able to change jobs. That doesn't mean I don't love them and miss them every day. It does, however, make me want to NOT extend grace (Ellie's middle name) to those who view the unborn different than I.
And then Jesus reminds me that He died for Conservatives AND Liberals. He died for all of us, not just those of us who follow (or attempt to, anyway) Him. Jesus has extended the same offer of grace to the person who believes Ellie and Poppy were nothing more than "clumps of cells" that He did to me. As His follower, as a child of God, it is MY responsiblity not to tell these people that not that they are going to hell for their beliefs, but to show them the way to Heaven through mine.
Think about what you say before you say it. It could make or break your witness.